Today is not that day!

Did you ever have one of those days where your mind is fully engaged in the fitness game but your body just isn’t? My body is screaming for mercy right now, I am fighting it every step of the way. Since when do I let my body over ride my brain? Ummm never!

I’m having surgery next week to finally get rid of a painful ovarian cyst, it’s been nagging at me for six months so I’m more than ready. What I wasn’t ready for was my Dr. telling me to stop taking ALL anti inflammatory prescriptions and herbal supplements. What? Really? Yeah I’m 40 years old and not sure you realize how vital those are for me at this stage in the game lol. I NEED anti inflamatories just to walk! I have an old knee injury from gymnastics when I was 16. I tore my ACL and the whole inside part of the cartilage of my knee, yeah that’s the medical term lol. Forget what it’s called but it’s never been the same of course. Before I got fit I had just endless months of pain and my knee actually gave out on a regular basis. So dealing with arthritis is nothing new to me. Since getting fit though the muscles around my knee have gotten so much stronger, it never gives out anymore. I’ve also started drinking Shakeology which makes ALL the difference in my nutrition, but especially with my arthritis. It is that cushion for my joints that allows me to do all the crazy things I do. It’s like a shock absorber for my knees and honestly it’s the best investment I’ve ever made in my health. Between Shakeology and glucosamine/condroiton I just don’t have issues with my knee at all anymore!

So when my doctor told me to stop taking both of those for two weeks before my surgery I thought OH NO!!! As of today it’s been one week since I stopped taking them both and I am literally in agony. My knee hurts all through the day and night, I can’t sleep, and my range of motion is that of an elephant. I am sore, really feeling my age. I know the benefit is worth it of course to have the surgery and I see that it’s a short term trade off for a bigger payoff. But I am hyper aware of the lack of cushion in my joints right now and how much of a difference those two products make in my normal life. Not only that but without ShakeO I am craving all the sweets and garbage that just have been off my radar for so long! This is really a test of my WHY power and taking everything I have just to get through each day.

To make matters a bit more challenging I am also doing Insanity! Which is by far the hardest workout I’ve ever done, it is brutal! So of course the timing is like are you kidding me? I’m doing the hardest workout ever and without any cushion for my knee? Uh yeah Mechelle lol. I realize each day that I may not even make it to the day before the surgery at this breakneck speed and that is ok. I had originally intended to workout right up until the day of my surgery, but right now I see that without my anti inflammatories and ShakeO that just might not be smart or possible even. It’s a battle in my mind, because I’m not the type to give up on anything, ever. I make a commitment and I see it through, that is just part of my chemical makeup. So to give up now? Yeah it’s going to take a lot of pain to get me there.

At the same time I think oh crap these people who look to me for support are going to judge me. So I need to keep in mind what I would tell any of you in the same situation. Listen to your body, do what is right for YOU. Please don’t judge me for pushing myself. It hurts my feelings when people don’t trust my own judgement for myself. But I am keeping in mind that the big picture is more important than squeezing in another week of Insanity. I know Insanity will always be there for me when this is all said and done and I’ve had my 40 year maintenance performed lol.

A lot of what got me to where I am now was pushing myself past my limits. I’ve fought through many injuries and colds, many days where I just didn’t want to. So to develop that kind of mindset you have to have a really strong determination. It’s that same determination that fights me at times like these when my body is just incapable of doing what I want it to. It is extremely difficult to just flip that switch off. And unless you’ve been through what I have I’m afraid you just won’t understand my stubbornness. And that’s ok! I am figuring it out and know when to say when.

One of my favorite quotes is “there will come a day when I can no longer do this, today is not that day!” Tomorrow? Eh maybe lol

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